Peeing My Pants In HS

HIGH SCHOOL!! Gosh, there are so many amazing memories from my time in high school at  Veritas Preparatory Academy! I was recently asked to speak at one of their assemblies about my career thus far and am so stoked to make my way back to my old stomping grounds. Since I’m going back, I thought I’d share some thoughts and one of my favorite high school stories… 

I’ll begin by saying: that school was extremely hard for me. Unlike my sister who cried when she got an A-, I was smiling ear to ear for a B-. I felt like there was an RV load of homework every night that left me crying at 11 pm wondering if I’d ever get it done. My mom’s famous line during a crying episode was, “What is crying gonna do? You think crying is gonna get your homework done?” Well, crying definitely didn’t do my homework. In fact – it gave me less time to get it done. Go figure.

As much as school was hard for me, there were way more hilarious, fun memories in between! If there is one story ingrained and stained in my memory AND on my high school staircase it will be this:

At the time, Veritas Prep had around 300 people total in the high school. We had about 60 kids in my graduating class. It was extremely small, which meant everyone knew everyone. We had cute little uniforms, which was perfect because I didn’t have to form a new outfit every day.  Also, the school used to be an old Bible study campus. Everyone called it the cardboard box because it basically was a two-story brick box with staircases at both ends where all of our lockers were. Definitely not your Gossip Girl High School vibes. 

So my story begins in my sophomore year. It was a sunny day, and my friends and I had finished lunch early in the cafeteria. Everyone was still eating; my best friend and I decided to head up to our lockers to get our books for math class which was next on our schedule. We were on the second floor, our lockers were a few down from each other,  I grabbed my 500-page algebra 2 textbook, notebook, pencil case, agenda, calculator, the whole nine yards! 

As I was about to shut my locker she had randomly recalled an inside joke that made me turn to her and laugh. She took one look at me and immediately points at my face and dies laughing so naturally like any human being would do, I looked back at my mirror in my locker and lone and behold the blackest bean I’d ever seen (from my Mexican food lunch) was camped in one of my front teeth….a bean….a nasty bean. (I think about it now and I think a black bean is the worst thing you can ever get stuck in your tooth I’m not sure why but it’s true)..blehhhhh

Anywho – I took one glance at that bean that was taking over my front tooth, and I immediately rammed my locker shut and STARTED CRYING LAUGHING. My legs immediately crossed trying not to pee my pants. My friend is wheezing, laughing a couple of lockers down. I can literally remember the sound of her trying to catch a sliver of air before returning to her laughing fit!

A couple of seconds go by and we are now teeter-tottering on the top of the staircase legs crossed still trying to get it together. There came a point where I absolutely lose all ability to hold anything and dropped everything down the stairs. My textbook goes flying, batteries are flying out of my calculator, agenda and notebook are zooming down the stairs. I really gave NO S^%$ about my belongings at this point. I’m just…. TRYING HARDER THAN EVER NOT TO PEE MY PANTS. I was telling myself.

“Sarah don’t you dare pee right now. It’s lunchtime. You have three more hours of school. Hold it. NOT NOW.” 

The next thing I know I hear the bell ring and EVERYONE is coming up from lunch to get their books and my stuff is still scattered everywhere. I immediately ripped my friend down to the landing of the staircase to stand in front of me like a barrier and I came to terms….I could no longer hold it. I crouched behind her in the corner of the landing in my uniform skirt, polo tucked AND started peeing my pants. The puddle began forming underneath my skirt little by little growing in diameter. I just remember Marla Davis asking what “that puddle” was….and in my head thinking wtf do you think it is?? Water?  

So as much as peeing my pants should seem like the highlight of my story it doesn’t stop there. It gets better. 

So I’m still internally laughing/in shock I peed my pants. Everyone at this point had gathered their books and were filing into their classrooms. I looked at my friend like “What the heck do I do now?” She skedaddled to math class so she wasn’t late, and I’m just stuck outside thinking of a plan B, plan C, anything besides going to class smelling like pee. 

Further context. My high school wasn’t one of those high schools where you could sign yourself out and go get Mickey D’s or Starbucks whenever you wanted, nor the type where you had one class and your day somehow ended at 11:45 am.  No matter what grade you were in, school got out at 3:10 pm. Period.

So with time ticking and not wanting to get a detention for being late, I ran to the front office and called my dad. It was perfect I lived 5 minutes from school. He could help me out. 

This is one of my favorite parts of the story… 

I called my dad, and it’s dead ass silent in the office. He picks up and I explained to him everything…

“Hey, so a minor accident happened at school, no it wasn’t my car, I  accidentally laughed so hard I peed my pants and was wondering if you  could either pick me up or bring me some new clothes?” 

I’m not sure what exact words he said, definitely something along the lines of, “Are you S^%$ing me?” But what came after that was the worst news I could ever imagine. 

He said, “I can’t pick you up or bring you new clothes. I’m on the other side of town.” 

In my head, I’m just screaming….”Well, can you hurry up and get over to THISSSSS side of town?  “ This was serious. Code Red. 

I quickly came to terms that no prince in shining armor is showing up in a white Ford Explorer to drop off new clothes for me. I hobbled back to my belongings still on the staircase and begin my walk to math class realizing – I’ll be sitting in my pee for the next three hours. 

I walked into class, which was the size of a meat freezer. My spandex were drenched in pee and my skirt was smelling absolutely rancid.  It was honestly a yeast infection waiting to happen at this point. 

I’m inching myself past each soul praying to the Man Upstairs they won’t get a whiff of my bad smells. And all I remember was sitting down next to this very nice girl and right then I was the MOST HONEST I’ve ever been in my life. I said, “Hey Liana, I am so sorry this is really gross but I just peed my pants. Like full-on, so it might smell like pee for the next hour.” 

And she just gave me the cutest little chuckle and whispered back, “It’s ok”.

It’s OK?? Bless that girl’s soul. She deserved a medal of honor right there. 

I breathed through my mouth those last three hours. 

Looking back, I don’t regret a thing cause now whenever people jokingly  say, “Dude that was so funny I almost peed my pants.”  

I say back, “You ALMOST peed your pants? Pshhh take a seat right there and let me tell you a story about how I ACTUALLY PEED MY PANTS”  

Bye Bye for now:)